(I dont know what to say. The ugly side of Bolloywood Here is the text from actress Jiah Khan's suicide letter allegedly addressed to Suraj Pancholi. This letter was shared to the media by Jiah's mother through their publicists.
"I don't know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have
nothing to lose. I've already lost everything. If you're reading this I
might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may
not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost
myself in loving you. Yet you tortured me everyday. These days I see no
light I wake up not wanting to wake up. There was a time I saw my life
with you, a future with you. But you shattered my dreams. I feel dead
inside. I've never given so much of myself to someone or cared so much.
You returned my love with cheating and lies. It didn't matter how
I gave you or how beautiful I looked for you. I was scared of getting
pregnant but I gave myself completely the pain you have caused me
everyday has destroyed every bit of me, destroyed my soul. I can't eat
or sleep or think or function. I am running away from everything. The
career is not even worth it anymore.
When I first met you I was
driven, ambitious and disciplined. Then I fell for you, a love I
thought would bring out the best in me. I don't know why destiny brought
us together. After all the pain, the rape, the abuse, the torture I
have seen previously I didn't deserve this. I didn't see any love or
commitment from you. I just became increasingly scared that you would
hurt me mentally or physically. Your life was about partying and women.
Mine was you and my work. If I stay here I will crave you and miss you.
So I am kissing my 10-year career and dreams goodbye. I never told you
but I received a message about you. About you cheating on me. I chose to
ignore it, decided to trust you. You embarrassed me. I never went out, I
never went with anyone else. I am a loyal person. I never met anyone
with Karthik I just wanted you to feel how you make me feel constantly.
No other woman will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I
did. I can write that in my blood. Things were looking up for me here,
but is it worth it when you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when
the person you love wants to abuse you or threatens to hit you or cheats
on you telling other girls they are beautiful or throws you out of
their house when you have no where to go and you've come to them out of
love or when they lie to your face or they make you chase after them in
their car. Or disrespects their family. You never even met my sister. I
bought your sister presents. You tore my soul. I have no reason to
breathe anymore. All I wanted was love. I did everything for you. I was
working for us. But you were never my partner. My future is destroyed my
happiness snatched away from me. I always wished the best for you, was
ready to invest what I had in your betterment. You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in the face. I have no confidence or
left, whatever talent whatever ambition you took it all away. You
destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I waited for you for ten days
and you didn't bother buying me something.
The Goa trip was my
birthday present but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I
aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed my Christmas and
my birthday dinner when I came back. When I tried my hardest to make
your birthday special. You chose to be away from me on
Day. You promised me once we made it to one year we would get engaged.
All you want in life is partying, your women and your selfish motives.
All I wanted was you and my happiness you took both away from me. I
spent money on you selflessly you would throw in my face. When I would
cry for you. I have nothing left in this world to live for after this. I
wish you had loved me like I loved you. I dreamt of our future. I
dreamt of our success. I leave this place with nothing but
and empty promises. All I want now is to go to sleep and never wake up
again. I am nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with
you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than
this." or whatever. RIP Jiah. It was published in TOI).
( The Times of India)